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Activity 1

Relational Dialectics Activity

Instructions

Choose a relationship you have, and identify a similarity and difference as well as an aspect in your relationship that is both a similar and a different using the categories listed below. Check the valence of the similarity or difference (positive, negative, or both). Finally indicate whether the nature of the similarity or difference has changed over time (i.e., what once was a similarity became a difference over time or vice versa).

Questions

1. Personality

a. Similarity

b. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

c. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

d. Difference

e. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

f. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

g. Similar & Different

h. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

i. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

2. Leisure Time pursuits

a. Similarity

b. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

c. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

d. Difference

e. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

f. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

g. Similar & Different

h. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

i. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

3. Attitudes and beliefs

a. Similarity

b. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

c. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

d. Difference

e. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

f. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

g. Similar & Different

h. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

i. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

4. Demographic/Family Background

a. Similarity

b. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

c. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

d. Difference

e. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

f. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

g. Similar & Different

h. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

i. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

5. Communication Style

a. Similarity

b. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

c. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

d. Difference

e. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

f. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

g. Similar & Different

h. Was this a positive, negative or both? Positive Negative Both

i. Has this changed or not changed? Changed Not Changed

* Baxter and West (2003) refer to the dialectics you indicated have changed over time as having experienced qualitative transformation.

** Baxter and West (2003) refer to the dialectics which are both similar at the core but that also have subtle differences as core radiant interplay.

Activity adapted from methods used is the following article:

Baxter, L. A., & West, L. (2003). Couple perceptions of their similarities and differences:

A dialectical perspective. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20(4), 491-514.